


Too Close

by SeafoamSoul



Category: Professional Wrestling, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-21 02:01:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17034324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeafoamSoul/pseuds/SeafoamSoul
Summary: Based loosely off the song 11 Blocks by Wrabel.





	Too Close

For the past six months, the first thing that has run through my mind in the morning is ‘too close, too close, too close.’ Braun is too close. Or maybe I’m too close to Braun. Either way, we’re too close to each other.

I would’ve moved if I could, if it had been worth it and I hadn’t signed the longest lease I could. But with the Performance Center being here in Orlando and so many of the other wrestlers around, it made sense for me to stay here. I was hoping that Braun would move one day, but he hasn’t. He still lives right down the road from me, within walking distance. And six months ago that was a blessing, one I thanked the universe for everyday. Now? Now part of me hates the fact that I’m even a part of the WWE, hates the fact that living here is what’s best for me and my career. I hate it.

I sighed, swinging my legs out from under the covers to dangle over the edge of my bed. It’s been six months. I shouldn’t still be affected by Braun, I shouldn’t still be hung up on the fact that we’re not together anymore. Most people by now would be fine, would have moved on. But I’m still stuck on that goofy smile he usually reserved just for me, the way he would carry me around if I looked at him just right, how he would put things on the top shelf just so I would ask him to help me. All things I couldn’t stop thinking about.

As I got dressed and ready to go to the performance center to work out, try to straighten my mind out, I thought about him. He was probably over me. He had to be, right? I’m the weird one here, still hung up on an ex that doesn’t care about me and hasn’t for a while now. He hasn’t cared since the day he told me he was done, that he couldn’t handle being with me anymore after a year and a half.

================================

He had been distant, quiet as we traveled from city to city. I thought maybe just the weight of his singles push had been getting to him and he was stressed out. A week later he told me he found someone else to travel with, that he was getting a room by himself. We were getting ready to leave the next day on our next set of shows for a few weeks and he came over to grab some things he left at my apartment that he’d need.

“Um, okay,” I replied, handing over the few sweatshirts he asked me for. “Is everything okay?”

“I can’t do this anymore,” he told me, eyes cold, face stoic.

“Do what?” I asked. I knew what he meant. I knew it, but I wanted to make him say it.

“Us. I can’t do us anymore,” he said simply.

I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding, nodding silently. My chest hurt, the pressure there too much for me to handle, but I refused to cry. Not here, not now with him standing in front of me. “Fine,” I finally choked out.

Braun looked down at me for a moment before nodding slightly, heading for the door. With one hand on the doorknob, he turned around to face me again. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” I spat. “Just trying to figure out where the hell I went wrong in all this.”

“You didn’t go wrong anywhere. I did,” he said simply, turning back to the door.

When the door closed behind him, I finally blinked, burning tears falling down my face.

=============================

Nia was the first person I met when I reached the Performance Center, her smile faltering as I stepped through the door. “You here to get in the ring or um, work out?” she asked, following me to the locker room.

“Work out,” I replied easily, grabbing my water bottle from my bag before turning to face her. “Gotta get that work in and all that.”

“You sure you don’t wanna lock up with me?” Her voice was desperate as we walked through the halls leading to the equipment.

“What’s the big deal, Nia?” I asked, narrowing my eyes at her. She didn’t answer, letting me open the door to the gym in awkward silence. My eyes were immediately drawn to one of the only people in the gym - Braun. “Oh,” I breathed.

He turned in almost slow motion, our eyes meeting. There was a dull roaring in my ears as my breathing quickened. Neither of us moved until Nia stepped in front of me, grabbing my arm. “Come on, let’s go lock up,” she said softly, leading me away from the gym. I looked over my shoulder just as the door closed to the gym to see Braun back to lifting weights, as if I had never been there at all.

===========================

I got good at ignoring Braun, pretending we weren’t in the same company, that we didn’t work together. If he was over us being together, I could be, too.

Except I wasn’t.

I pretended I was, for the sake of my own wellbeing. And avoiding Braun was too easy when you knew his schedule, knew how he liked to do things. Add in help from friends and it was almost like he didn’t even exist.

But I knew he did. I could feel him in the arenas we visited, in the buildings the roster invaded for shows. I knew he was there, but I never sought him out. After all, if he wanted to see me, he would come find me. Or he would never have broken up with me in the first place. At least, that’s what I was telling myself.

He hadn’t really given me a reason for this breakup at my apartment, so instead I was stuck to pick up bits and pieces others whispered amongst themselves when they thought I wasn’t around. Most of it centered around me just being too much. Braun needed space, and I wasn’t giving him what he needed, so he decided to take matters into his own hands.

It was news to me, of course. He never once mentioned needing space to me. If he had, I would’ve given it to him, no questions asked. Being a wrestler on the road for so long can get stressful, people always thinking they’re entitled to knowing everything about you. I would have understood his need for space.

But he never gave me the opportunity to do so.

=========================

Instead of staying at the Performance Center, Nia and I went to get coffee. Of course we went to the same coffee shop it feels like everyone goes to, the coffee shop that was Braun’s favorite. Or maybe still is. It’s not like I know him anymore.

“You’ve got to let go of this hold he has over you,” Nia told me, eyes wide with concern.

“I know, I know,” I sighed, taking a sip of my coffee. “We were just together for so long and I could have sworn he was it for me.”

“You’re a kick ass woman that any guy would be lucky to have. Just because Braun didn’t see that doesn’t mean other guys won’t.” Nia’s voice was gentle as she spoke, eyes watching me closely. “Listen, it’s Friday, you should relax. Come to the party Bliss is having tonight.”

“I don’t know, Nia,” I frowned, chewing on my bottom lip.

“No, you’re coming,” Nia said, stopping me from making an argument. “You’re coming, and you’re gonna have fun.”

“Alright, fine. I’ll go. I’m not staying for long, though.”

========================

Back when we were together, Braun and I liked to spend our weekends together curled up on his couch watching dumb movies. Half the time, we ended up paying more attention to each other than what was on the TV, but we just liked spending that time together. We were comfortable together, it was a great contrast to the hectic schedule our lives usually followed.

I always looked back on those times fondly, wishing I could go back. But when I learned that Braun broke up with me because he needed space, I stopped looking back and feeling some sort of phantom happiness from those times. All I thought about was when those times stopped being fun and started feeling stressful for him. I wondered why I never noticed that he was tired of those times, why he never mentioned anything earlier.

It followed me for a long time, the thought that I wasn’t attentive enough to his needs so he had to find a way out himself. And the more I thought about it, the more it ate away at me. I thought I was kind enough, that I wasn’t too self absorbed to notice other people’s needs. But apparently I was.

========================

“Oh my god, you made it!” Alexa squealed, hugging me as I stepped through the front door of her apartment. “And, girl, you look hot.”

I looked down at my dress, a deep navy with lace overlay, and shrugged. “Thought it’d be fun to get dressed up.”

And it was fun to get dressed up to hang out with my friends. But there was also the fact that Braun lives in the same apartment complex as Alexa, just a few buildings over. I knew he wouldn’t come to the party, he’s not that into them, but if I happened to run into him in the parking lot, I wanted to make sure I looked good. I wanted him to think I have my life together, that I’m doing fine. Even if I’m not.

“Are you okay? Nia told me about earlier,” Alexa whispered, leading me to the kitchen to get a drink.

“She did?” I asked, face paling.

“Yeah, but only after I asked her. Nattie was in the gym when you walked in, said it got really tense and weird,” Alexa explained. “Nia didn’t just go around blabbing it to everyone.”

“Yeah, I know. She wouldn’t do that,” I mumbled, grabbing the drink Alexa offered me.

“She’s too good a friend to do that,” Alexa agreed, nodding. “So, you wanna go mingle?”

“Yeah, let’s do that,” I said, straightening my posture and following her to the living room. When we crossed the threshold, everyone turned to face me, eyes wide with shock. I hadn’t gone out too much since Braun and I broke up, trying to get ahold of myself. I just didn’t think too many of my coworkers had noticed. But they did.

“I, uh. I’m gonna go get some air,” I muttered to Alexa, turning and walking straight back out through the front door, pacing along the sidewalk.

I tried to talk myself into calming down, into going back to the party and having fun with my friends. But my eyes were drawn to Braun’s building. I knew he was home. It’s a Friday night. He’s always home on Friday nights, preferring to go out in the middle of the week when there were less people to bother him. Before I could stop myself or anyone could come outside to stop me, I was moving, my drink forgotten by Alexa’s door.

I knew it was a bad idea. Braun didn’t want to see me. Part of me didn’t want to see him. But the part of me that did was overruling the part of me that didn’t, the part of me with common sense. And before long I found myself at his front door, hand running through my hair. I should turn around, go back to where my friends were waiting for me.

Instead, I knocked on the door, my stomach lurching as I did.

But that was nothing compared to what I felt when a woman answered the door, her perfect blonde hair tossed over one shoulder. “Can I help you?” she asked.

“I, uh,” I began, my mouth dry and my brain stalling.

“Babe, who is it?” Braun called from inside. And then he was there, right behind her, one of his hands falling to her waist. Where he used to put his hands on me. And suddenly I felt like throwing up. “I’ll handle it,” he told her, slowly edging her out of the doorway. “Go set up the next movie.”

We both watched as she flounced away, hair bouncing behind her, before he turned back to me.

“Listen, I uh, I think I made a mistake coming here,” I said, taking a step back.

“You did,” Braun agreed, towering above me in the doorframe.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize,” I babbled, face burning.

“That I found someone?” Braun finished, hand slowly moving the door to close between us. “I think I’m in love.”

“Oh,” I choked, nodding dumbly. “Good for you. I’m just gonna…Go.” I turned away before he could see the hot tears running down my face, before he could see me fall to pieces. He had found someone. He was in love. And I was still hopelessly stuck on him.

“Oh, no,” Alexa said, voice soft with concern as I approached her door. Nia was standing next to her, eyes focused solely on me. “Did you go see him?”

I didn’t say anything, just nodded as the two of them encased me in their arms, letting me sob in the middle of the sidewalk. ‘Too close, too close, too close,’ I thought. ‘Braun is too close.’

==========================

A month later, I heard through the grapevine that he had moved in with his new girlfriend, a step he had never taken with me. They were in love, inseparable. Apparently he didn’t need space from everyone - just me.


End file.
